Recipe for Disaster


Step 1: Allow kids to watch an unhealthy amount of TV.
Step 2: Abruptly decide “no more screen time” and force everyone on a walk in 15 degree weather.
Step 3: Despite suggesting your 4yo wear gloves and offering to bring gloves for your 4yo in case she changes her mind, leave the house without 4yo’s gloves.
Step 4: Bring the dog on the walk.
Step 5: Walk about 10 minutes at a snail’s pace, reach no destination, and decide that you can no longer tolerate the shrill screams of your inconsolable, frozen 4yo.
Step 6: Laugh maniacally to avoid crying, which incites 4yo to scream louder.
Step 7: Attempt to carry your 4yo while holding the dog’s leash. Attempt to rein the dog in while he attempts to chase squirrels, while your footing is tenuously gripped to the black ice, and your other two kids trot along beside you.
Step 8: Miraculously have your eldest offer to hold the dog’s leash. Carry on walking precariously down the slippery path while your 4yo attempts to deafen you, now in closer proximity to your ear since she’s being held.
Step 9: Take a selfie to remember this blissful moment forever.
(Feel free to pin)

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